Experimenting with "Circle Time" in Our Homeschool

We are in a homeschooling rut, no doubt about it. My oldest daughter is 5 and my youngest will be 4 in November, so really, they aren't even old enough for "real school" just yet. But my girls seem to thrive on that little bit of "schooling" we do every day and we haven't done anything regular in a few weeks. The reason for this? We pretty much finished up the curriculum I used this last year. I have family coming to visit Japan for the first time in a few days and will have visitors for roughly another 4 weeks. I really hate to start a whole new year of school right before our schedules get changed by visitors and sightseeing... and... don't most kids have a summer break?

So anyway... I've been trying to focus more on creating a daily rhythm. I've done this before and I think rhythms are bound to change. There is always some tweaking that can be done. I prefer to create "rhythms" rather than "schedules."  Our rhythm is a general order to our day, written down, and posted on the wall near our calendar so that they girls have a visual of what comes next. Unlike a schedule, it isn't tied to set times. That way, we don't worry about finishing/starting something "on time." For me, that just creates more stress.

As part of our updated daily rhythm, I wanted to try incorporating a "circle time." So far, circle time has been a big hit. The girls look forward to it and I feel like it starts our day off on the right foot.

 Here's what our circle time looks like:

Circle Time begins after our "morning routine." We've gotten dressed, done a few chores (making beds, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, brushing teeth, etc.) and had our breakfast.

To begin, we light a candle and then have a "mindful minute." Our mindful minute introduces the practice of meditation. I do not meditate regularly, but I'd like to develop the practice and I also think my children could benefit from meditation. For our mindful minute, we sit with legs crossed, with or without our eyes closed, and try to be as still and quiet as we can for one minute. Eventually, I'd like to sit longer, but with a 5 year old and 3 year old, a minute is about as long as we can manage. The only suggestion I give the girls is to try and feel their breath coming in and out, or to try and feel their heart beating. In the future, I'd also like to get a bell or Tibetan singing bowl to signal the beginning of our minute.

Next comes our "Sun Salutations."A few months ago, the girls were taking a "Mommy & Me" yoga class and we were introduced to a fabulous song (and album, really) by Kira Willey. We play "Dance for the Sun" and myself and the girls do a few sun salutations to get our bodies moving.

Now it's the girls' turns to each pick a song or fingerplay to do together. Usually, they pick the same song each day ("Monkeys Jumping on the Bed," for example, or "The Wheels on the Bus") but if it's what they love, I don't mind. It's amazing to me to watch the joy they get out of singing the same simple songs every day.

We settle back down in a little circle and I try to have a book picked out that might plant some seeds about having good character, good behavior, or just living well. Lately, I've been reading a short section from this book.

Then, we end our circle time by stating our intentions for the day. For my children, this usually translates to an answer to the question: "How will you try to have a good day today?" For me, it provides an opportunity to show my children that their mother is human and imperfect. I want them to know that I struggle with things just like they do. Many days, my answer is always the same: "I want to practice being calm today - even if I might feel angry or sad at times." To my amazement, my oldest daughter has reminded me a couple of times to remember that I wanted to be calm. And the reminders come at exactly the right time.

On days where we skip our circle time, there is definitely a noticeable difference in our morning, and sometimes, the entire day. With young children in the house, I often feel like I'm behind - like I'm rushing from one thing to the next. Having even 10 minutes to sit together and intentionally think about the day ahead does wonders for me, and my children seem to enjoy it as well.

Finding a Rhythm: What will benefit me?

Since I've become a mother, my daily life has become filled with the responsibility of taking care of those around me. It's very easy to neglect yourself when you are a wife and mother. And if you fail to make time for your own needs and interests, you will get run down very quickly.

So when thinking about the routines I'd like to create around our home, I need to make sure that I also think about including things that will benefit my own health and spirit.

• Waking early. To be able to do this without it making me even more tired, this also means that I need to go to bed at a decent time every night. Waking early gives me a little bit of time to think about my day and eat my breakfast in peace before the little munchkins wake up and demand my time. 
• Going to the gym. I have never been a huge fan of exercise, but every time I workout, I always feel so wonderful afterwards. And, the girls LOVE the childcare at the gym.
• Down time. Whether it's sitting my butt on the couch during naptime or hiding in my room to read a book while the girls play, I want to make sure I give myself time every day to do whatever I'd like.

Wow. Not too much to add here. Sure, I have a lot of things I'd like to work on doing better this year - drinking more water, exercising more, wasting less time on Pinterest and Facebook - but those aren't necessarily things that I want to include in my routine. Adding those sorts of things to an everyday "to-do" list only make me feel more unproductive when everything fails to get crossed off the list each day. I TRY to do the things for myself listed above, but they are never worked into a particular routine. Thus, I'm not very good at doing them.

Now that I've tried to figure out what kinds of things I want incorporated into a routine, I've got to find the best way to actually put a routine in place. There are lots of ideas from other mamas all over the internet, but what works for one mom, may not work so well for me. I may try one or two suggestions before finding what is the best fit for myself and my kids, but hopefully, it won't take too long to get something put together. 

Finding a Rhythm: What will benefit my kids?

Part two of my attempt to set up a routine for myself and my kids involves thinking about what kinds of things I want to include in our schedule that would benefit my kids. This is the category that I have a lot of trouble with. Have you picked up a parenting magazine lately? Checked out any parenting blogs? And, dear god, have you waded through the "kids" section of Pinterest? I need to do more crafting. I need to homeschool. I need to pick the perfect homeschool curriculum. I need to make the house more kid-friendly. I need to make an art-station for my kids. I need to fix healthier lunches. I need to fix lunches that look like small, cute animals. I need to print off preschool worksheets. I need to teach my kids another language. I need to schedule regular playdates so my kids won't be socially inept. I need to go the library once a week. I need to play with my kids every time they ask! I need to read to them at least 10 times a day! I need to do circle time every morning! I need to get rid of our tv so the kids' brains won't turn to mush!! I need to BE THE BEST MOM EVER!!!!!!!!

Whoah. Got a little out of control there.

As you can see, it's easy to try and do too much. So I'm going to try and simplify things as much as possible. My kids don't benefit from their mom being stressed out. They don't benefit from over-scheduling and over-stimulation. They DO benefit, however, from my making an effort to expose them to new things and keep their little hearts and minds growing.

So, what are the things I want to try to incorporate into our routines that might benefit my kids?

• More time outdoors. Cold is no longer an excuse to stay inside since we've been having above-normal temperatures. 
• More art time. I'm not talking about finding new crafts for the girls to do all the time. If I can manage a couple of crafty-things a month, that will be great. I'm really just talking about letting them paint, draw, and create more often instead of avoiding it so that I don't have to clean up another mess.
• Playdates and new adventures. My kids aren't in daycare and I'd like to provide them some more opportunities to interact with some other children.
• Less TV/more free play. Some days are better than others, but instead of using the TV as my "go-to" solution for cranky kids, I'd like to just let them work it out and entertain themselves.
• A short educational-thingamabob every day. Whether it's reading a new book, doing some themed-craft or printing off a new coloring page offline, I'd like to do ONE thing every day (even if it's just 10 minutes long) that teaches them something new. 

Now, fitting all this into our days and weeks is going to be the tricky part. And, like I said, it's easy to make a list of things you'd like to do with your kids that is 10,000 items long. But really, my kids don't need me to be super-mom to be smart, kind, compassionate, curious kids. They are going to spend most of the their adult life trying to mark things off of their to-do list, so just for a few more years, I'd like to make their lives as simple as possible. 

Finding a Rhythm: What HAS to be Done

I posted last week about needing to find my rhythm again. Believe it or not, figuring out some sort of daily routine can feel overwhelming sometimes. There can be soooo many things you feel like you need to cram in to the 24 hours each day that already don't seem like enough. And how in the world do I start figuring out what my routine should look like? I've decided I'm going to break it down into three categories: what has to be done, what will benefit my kids, and what will benefit me. Not only will I try to figure out what kinds of things fit into each category, but I'm also going to try and figure out which of those things need to be done daily, weekly and monthly. Hopefully, after all of that, I'll be able to sit down and make my days flow a little bit more smoothly.

So, my focus right now is on what things absolutely, positively need to be done.

Or... maybe... what things should probably get done on days that I'm a semi-productive wife and mother.

Daily Tasks

• Dishes are one of those things that never disappear. 
• Picking up. In our house, we don't deep-clean every day, but we certainly pick up several times throughout the day. It keeps us from having one huge mess to clean every night.
• Showering and getting dressed. 
• Preparing dinner

Holy crap. I totally thought I'd have WAY more things than this that needed to be done around the house. I really feel like I'm forgetting something because I'm sure this can't be it... can it?

Weekly Tasks

• Making a grocery list, coupon list and the corresponding grocery shopping trip
• Giving the girls' baths (they have baths maybe twice a week)
• Checking the status of bills
• Laundry (another thing that never disappears)
• Going to the gym (this is a must for myself and the girls)
• Planning for the next week

Monthly Tasks

• Cleaning the bathrooms (ugh. hate this one)
• Dusting
• Taking recycling
• Sweeping and mopping
• Monthly budget planning

I know that there are probably a lot of other things I could add to these lists and unexpected things always come up that need my attention. But making huge lists of all the things I'd like to do or might need to do just leads me to feel overwhelmed and incompetent when I can never seem to get everything done. The things on the lists above are things that, at the bare minimum, keep my house from becoming a pig sty and keep our family running somewhat smoothly. 

When I'm done figuring out what things need to go into my daily, monthly and weekly routines, the real task will be coming up with a good way to keep track of all of it. Slowly, but surely, I'll get it sorted out.

How do I find a rhythm?

One of the hardest parts of being a stay-at-home parent is finding some sort of routine, or rhythm, in your day. Without one, your days seem to run together and personally, I'm not nearly as productive as I'd like to be. My kids also thrive on predictability and the number of meltdowns I have to deal with are kept at a  minimum if there is no question about what is coming up next. Unfortunately, when you have young children, your rhythms don't always stay steady. Different developmental phases often mean tweaks and improvements to your daily routine and it's very easy to get off-track. THAT is where I find myself now. I think Christmas and cold weather are partly to blame, but lately, it seems as though my entire day is spent trying to tackle just one or two things on my to-do list while trying to find something for my kids to do that doesn't involve electronics. So, here I am. Feeling like I'm starting all over with this rhythm thing. Where do I begin?

What HAS to be done?

Going to the gym is pretty important to me (I try to shoot for twice a week). Laundry and dishes have to be done. My kids will need to be bathed twice a week (or maybe just once is a good goal...). And at some point, I'm going to have to clean the bio-hazard that is my bathroom. Some things - no matter how much I don't want to do them - have to be done. I can't just say that they'll get done when I have time because time is really limited. I have to plan for it. I know some women who do certain chores on certain days, a.k.a. "Tuesday is laundry day," but I don't think that will work for me. Anytime I put myself into a box, the box always falls apart.

What would benefit my kids?

When I think about this, it's easy to get anxious and frustrated with feelings of mommy-inadequacy. There is never a short supply of exemplary mothers who home-school, craft, travel, bake, run home-based businesses, and birth 3 kids at a time with ease. It's easy to feel like I'm not doing enough. I need to take time to think about what I want for my kids and how to make that happen. I want my kids to have a simple childhood and develop a love of learning. If I can home-school with a curriculum and materials, that's great. But if all I can manage is a craft every couple of weeks and a rare trip to the library, that's fine too. I need to just really sit back and evaluate what things will be most beneficial to my kids and how to go about making them work. January is going to be my month to try and figure some of this out.

What would benefit me?


Finally, I also want to pay some homage to who I am by thinking about what kinds of things will benefit me. Since my husband and I became parents, we always have a horrible time answering someone's question when they ask what our hobbies are. My husband recently said that he wants to start playing piano again. I got a sewing machine last Christmas that hasn't gotten nearly enough use. I LOVE organizing and finding ways to live on less and live more simply. If I focus all of my attention on my family, I burn out really. I've got to make sure that when I plan our days, I include some "me" time as well.

There is a LOT of inspiration online about creating routines and one of my goals for January is to really make an effort to figure out what kind of routine works best for my family. Most importantly, I want to make sure that I really pay attention to the needs of myself and my family. Just because some super-mom's routine works great for her, that doesn't mean that will work great for us too. It says nothing about me as a mother or my family, but simply reiterates the fact that everyone is different. Let's hope this gives 2012 a good start.